A few weeks ago my step daughters mother lost her battle with addiction. It was sudden and horrible and her death has left a huge hole in several lives. I HATE addiction. I HATE the stigma. Jennifer was so beautiful and full of potential. All of that was ripped away from her by addiction.
Jennifer and I had a rough start. She was the ex girlfriend and I was the new girlfriend. We parented two different ways and disagreed on a lot of things...but we never disagreed on the love we had for our daughters. We definitely had our moments...and then we got over them and kept it moving. When my daughter almost drowned last summer it was Jennifer that ran and jumped into the pool to save her life...something I am forever grateful to her for. We called the girls "our girls" and both were fiercely protective of them.
We are starting to adjust to life without Jennifer and I have to admit, it isn't easy. Even though I know she is in a place free of addiction and pain...she is not here. Her mother can't hold her and her daughter can't sit in her lap and cuddle. They all deserved better than this, Jennifer most of all.
Blended families don't always make it. They take a work and understanding. I love my blended family. I love that we made it work and I especially love that I am trusted with another mother's little girl...but that little girl deserves her mommy.
Losing Jennifer is a hole that will never be filled here on Earth. I am certain she is still around, just now as a guardian angel. We miss you, Jenn.
Please...if you have an addiction problem or know somebody that does, don't hide it and be ashamed. There are places that can and will help you. Reach out to someone.
Fight.
